Dropping the Bomb


Hey, guys. Many of you might have found out about James (the Amazing One) Randi’s recent ‘coming out,’ and it gave me the idea to open up to my incredible readership in revealing a little something that hasn’t been mentioned in great detail in the past, though I’ve occasionally alluded to it from time to time.

Some of you may have suspected it from my writing style, some from my early comment responses, others of you already knew, to more than just a few this may be a bit of a surprise, and some probably just won’t give a crap…

No, I’m not gay — not if any of my ex-girlfriends have a say in the matter — but I do harbor a rather bothersome medical condition that I’m not particularly proud of, nor especially happy about, but which I’ve seen no reason to hide in person, and as of now, here…

I’m schizophrenic.

This condition is one of the most debilitating neurological disorders known to Man (or Woman for you readers of the fairer sex), and something that I have struggled with ever since my early twenties.

My particular condition is one of a family of related disorders, having nothing to do with ‘split-personalities’ as they are popularly termed (That is actually referred to, if I recall correctly, as Disassociative Identity Disorder, an entirely different class of condition) in the media, and this is one of the many reasons among others that I’m a skeptic, since keeping better in tune with reality is a Good Thing™, as this enables me to stay out of trouble more easily than would otherwise be the case.

Is skepticism effective for combating mental illness? I would venture not by itself, and I recommend to others with mental illnesses that you stay on your treatment plan and follow it scrupulously, just to be on the safe side.

You are not alone.

For me though, skepticism is a useful adjunct to my basic treatment. Learning to think clearly is always a good thing with or without a problematic condition.

Few with the more extreme variants of my condition can benefit from skepticism, and many often require physical care as well. But fortunately my illness is mild enough and sufficiently amenable to treatment to allow me to function in daily life and do the things I enjoy, like post on and administer this blog.

I consider myself lucky, to the extent luck actually exists, that I got treatment for my affliction during the early stages before it became too advanced, otherwise I would not be typing this into my browser window for you all to read.

Pushing the ‘publish’ button for this entry was not an easy decision, but a necessary one. Some things are important enough that they need to be said. The Randi-Meister was a big factor in this…

As one of those ‘fervently dogmatic, pseudo-skeptical, pseudo-intellectual (and according to one recent commenter, ‘unread’) debunkers,’ there is no point in pretending to be what I am not and can never be — perfectly normal, ‘just like everyone else’ — since the truth should always be paramount.

Hence this post.

I have little doubt that this entry will be used as a convenient source of ammunition by those online who’ve expressed impatience towards my ‘attitude’ as a skeptic, and that’s fine with me — as long as any disagreement between me and others remains bloodless and gentlemanly — including disagreements with those I’ve annoyed in the past. And believe me, I’ve annoyed quite a few…

For the past couple of decades, I’ve worked at a vocational rehabilitation business as an administrative assistant, only retired as of last December, and this has helped immensely in my personal growth and experience in the workplace.

The people I met and knew there, clients and employees, will always be a reminder how much stigma is still attached to mental illness in this country, as well as others. They will also be a reminder of the incredible resilience of human courage, hope, and ability.

I plan to diversify the subject matter posted on this site to include advocacy for the rights and well-being of those with disabling psychiatric conditions, both like and unlike my own.

I’ve so far immensely surpassed where I was when my illness first popped up some years ago, and I plan to do better still, helping others like me as well. You, my readers both locally and around the world are an absolute joy to write for, and this blog is a wonderful journey & learning experience for my Troythuluness.

Let’s travel and learn together.

Like it says in my collector’s edition copy of the Principia Discordia– Fnord.

About Troy Loy

I seek to learn through this site and others how to better my ability as a person and my skill at using my reason and understanding to best effect. I do fractal artwork as a hobby, and I'm working to develop it to professional levels, though I've a bit to go till I reach that degree of skill! This is a crazy world we're in, but maybe I can do a little, if only that, to make it a bit more sane than it otherwise would be.

Posted on Wednesday, 15:33, March 24, 2010, in Musings & Ponderings and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. It really takes courage to share with the world in the way you’ve done Troy–I commend you. As a psychiatric social worker, and being closely involved in the details of hundreds, actually thousands, of cases over the past 20 years, it’s clear your approach to the illness is a complete success. Ironically, as you point to in your post, the biggest hurdles you face are around the stigma associated with mental illness. As you know, the genesis of the stigma is people’s ignorance about what mental illness is, and especially debilitating is the radical misunderstanding of the public about all the Axis I diagnoses. It’s ironic because people’s ignorance is just as much of an obstacle as the disease itself. Yes, you’ll get the Ad Hominem nonsense, but I think you’ll continue to judge it for what it is…fallacious.

    Aloha! Excelsior!!!

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  2. Covering some topics along these lines should be a good thing and also generally tie into the current “skeptic’ theme as well. Being another who has ‘a problem’ although mine has been more in a physical vein, I still cringe when I think about some of the comments and actions of people who “know” what the answers are to everything that could happen, and even those who have “training” in the issue, right up to some of the horrendous mistakes I’ve seen carried out firsthand. Maybe this forum, with its rational reader quotient being miles higher than what you would find elsewhere, can air some of these issues without the emotional baggage I’ve seen thrown around elsewhere.

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  3. Hey! You know there is nothing wrong with that, as I have told you. Were all special in our own ways! It makes you more critical of thought. More determined to understand things, and I think if anything those who do suffer as you do that put all that extra effort into being someone, is amazing.

    -Pumpkin. <3

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  4. Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. :)

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  5. The courage of Troythulu goes beyond the bounds of mere cyberspace, extending into the world that surrounds him. In my personal opinion he is one of the bravest, smartest, and truest of friends; never once has he let me down since I’ve known him. Never. Once. I want you to think about that for a moment, in the decade plus that I have known the man he has offered advice, friendship, and the occasional shoulder to whine on (real men don’t cry after all >_>, least that is what the tee-shirt says). I’ve followed him on his meandering path, watching him blog his way through the info-sphere that is the World Wide Web. To hear my friend’s admonishments of his own accomplishments is, well, hurtful. How many people out there have conquered their own personal demons through sheer force of will…and of course a little help from modern medicine. Troythulu is, and ever shall be my truest friend, and should know this even if I don’t say it often enough when we hang out, after all the only cost of courage is fear.

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