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My (Non-) Psychic Predictions for 2012


Seal of the C.I.A. - Central Intelligence Agen...

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I have a rather uncompromising view of the validity of psychics and the meaningful success of their annual predictions, which are either generic, high-probability events trivial to fulfill, much more specific claims that never actually happen and require much special pleading to support their alleged fulfillment, and those retrodictions, not predictions, only mentioned after the fact and shoehorned to fit the events they pertain to.

I’ve looked, and no psychic has yet accurately predicted anything important under adequate conditions, illogical, contrived and weak excuses to avoid being subjected to tests of predictive veracity notwithstanding.

Well, despite that, I’m a fair guesser, just as good as any “Intuitive” and best of all, openly in non-possession of any psychic abilities at all (skeptical ethics and all that), so I’ll offer a few predictions of my own, for the remainder of this year and come 2013, I’ll revisit this post, and we’ll see how well I did… or not.

So let’s get started… Each of these will have a likelihood rating using one of three emoticons -

:-) – Trivially likely

;-) – Maybe, could be made to fit

:-( – Definitely a stretch

  • Conspiracy theorists will fail to be convinced that President Obama did not get teleported to Mars during the 1980s as a project by the CIA to explore the Red Planet. :-)
  • Bigfoot will be discovered in a poll-booth voting for a Republican candidate (most likely Mittens) during election day this November, and DNA analysis will reveal him to be genetically engineered by Grey aliens, or maybe brought to Earth by Time Lords out for a spin in a TARDIS… :-(
  • A new fossil hominid will be discovered or revealed by investigation of previous dig samples, further developing our ideas on human evolution and overturning older, more erroneous ideas of same. :-)
  • In February, I predict that at least one earthquake will happen somewhere in the Western hemisphere give or take one or two weeks around the 15th. :-)
  • A new form of life will be discovered in hydrothermal vents in or near Antarctica. :-)
  • Several new exoplanets, even closer to Earth in size and mass than before, will be discovered in orbits near their stars close enough to bear life of a sort we might recognize. :-)
  • Yet another politician or other ranking public figure who can’t keep his todger in his trousers will be scandalized and forced to resign after getting caught. ;-)
  • Several more seemingly extraterrestrial signals will be picked up by SETI radio-telescopes. Most if not all of them will be readily identifiable as Earth-bound interference. :-)
  • Irresponsible predictions about the End of the World™ will reach a fever pitch and none of them will come true when or as predicted, be the date December 12, 21, or any other time of this year. :-)
  • Mister Eccles will learn to curb the use of his claws in play and become more sedate as an adult cat. :-(

And finally…

  • Ethnic Maya in Central America will rise up in wrathful protest vs the silly apocalyptic or transcendant claims that gullible people of West European religious traditions or practitioners of equally silly spiritual doctrines have superimposed over their early civilization’s otherwise perfectly innocuous Long Count calendar. ;-)

xkcd: The Economic Argument vs Woo [Repost]


Image via XKCD.com

I thought that this would rather nicely sum up why purveyors of nonsense only make scads of money off people who believe in what they peddle, and not mainstream science or business. Note that only two of the wacky ideas above see any use apart from just those who believe in them, and for very good reasons; They’re science, not wishful thinking… I know–that’s mean–but I am Troythulu, not the Carebears.

Make Mine a Granola with Almonds…


This is about something that one of my Twitter friends, @Tao23 sent me a while back. It’s pseudoscience with an emphasis on the “pseudo-” and this is just one of the things that pisses me off about many promoters of woo woo.

‘Energy bars’ in your head that let you magically fulfill your every ambition if only you learn to access them?? WTF?? I’m not sure what to make of this.

I don’t know how to express the contempt they seem to have for the intelligence of their clients, and no, it doesn’t matter how much of this they really believe themselves.

Nope, even being totally sincere in making claims like these is no excuse…

…Never mind that the only energy bars that actually exist are the ones you unwrap and eat.

It’s normally my policy not to do this, but this truly deserves “that image” since anything less would give this too much credibility, so here it is peeps…

Sanal Edamaruku Skeptically Pwns Tantrik on Live Television [Reposted]


Sanal Edamaruku, President of Rationalist International and the Indian Rationalist Society, challenges tantrik Pandit Surendra Sharma, to use his magical powers to kill him on national television, and seems most amused throughout the attempt, even to third part where the tantrik, with some assistance, tries the Ultimate Destruction Ritual™…to no effect on Sanal, who remains very much alive as of this writing… Woo… gotta love it.

Now Go Away, or We Shall Taunt You a Second Time!


Maya glyph (K'in )for the day in the long coun...

Image via Wikipedia

Okay, this makes Troythulu feel a cold, eldritch snark coming, and cosmic amusement at this latest example of the searing, blazing surge of neocortex-numbing idiocy that sometimes calls itself humanity, with mindlessness on a scale dwarfing even that of Mighty Azathoth itself. Ia!

This is a matter of which Troythulu does not wish to lend any sense of credibility to the culprits.

Nope, this is going to be one long, ridiculing, ad hominem ramble…

It seems a tiny village in southwestern France is being beset by unwelcome visitors, in the form of UFO believers descending upon this quaint little place in droves, more than it can reasonably support, and who believe not only the completely imaginary claptrap about 2012 being the end of the world, an idea even the Maya laugh at as the claims of stupid Westerners imposing their apocalyptic religious myths onto their Long Count calendar, but also that the local mountain is a UFO parking garage, the occupying craft in which will leave our doomed (DOOMED, I SAY!!!) planet and take some fortunate believers with it when it leaves.

I told you this was stupid, though not burning enough to require the showing of “That Image…”

Sometimes I’m amazed at the extremes people go to in acting on their beliefs, even to the point of forcing the locals to call in the military to keep them out.

Why the need?

It’s so they can’t overcrowd and ruin this rather scenic place during their wait, until and when both fictional UFO and apocalypse fail to appear as they no doubt shall.

Superstition is endemic to the human species, no matter what you call it.

It’s no surprise that end of the world scenarios have that annoying (to believers) tendency to fail, save perhaps the real end of the world about, oh, I don’t know, five f*cking BILLION years from now, when the sun gets ready to die and we’ll all be long gone, or evolved into something else.

About the Maya calendar predictions…Did anyone ever inform these peeps that calendars aren’t used for prophecy, and the Long Count calendar is cyclical, not linear…

All that reaching the end of the current cycle means is a reset of the calendar date to zero. But you’ll never hear that from mystery-mongers, since that might cut into their bestseller hardback royalties…

Oh why do I bother?..

But for the residents to be forced to request that the French army step in to keep out unwelcome guests so they won’t destroying the locals’ quality of life?

I feel for them, and know their pain as property values plummet, and the area’s scenic beauty is ruined by minor acts of spiritually-motivated vandalism, so I say, “Go for it people. Do what you need to keep the whack-jobs out of your living space.”

*Sigh*

To think it all started when one local guy, now deceased, posted a claim about seeing a UFO in the area, among other silly assertions…

…and it only takes one to spoil it for all…

It’s at least a good thing the locals are, well, skeptical of the whole thing, since it’s their home that’s being invaded, (but not by ET) and its ambience ruined by the decidedly unwelcome guests.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I plan on being around long after 2012, and smirking evilly at the disappointed folks who will be forced to reschedule their timetable for Armageddon yet again, and maybe this next wait, to stay out of places they aren’t wanted.

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