Logico Fractatus | Gnarly, Dude!

 

I’m currently creating Bad Fractals to go into the folder of the same name, for all of my really awful images created over the years. The method behind that madness involves working backward from the Bad images to discover insights into drastically improving the more passable ones, to discover those “10,000 solutions that don’t work,” and to better the ones that do. I’m saving the parameter sets for each new Bad Fractal created, and in between, I’m also creating those that may not be quite as Bad. One of those is tonight’s image, created by MB3D, using the Gnarl formula type and transparency settings. The image links to the fractal’s page in my DeviantArt gallery. Enjoy!

Tf. Tk. Tts.

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MetaCognitions | Thoughts at the Age of 53

 

As I reach the age of 53 this morning, I consider myself lucky indeed, to have lived the experiences I have, to learn the things I’ve learned, and to have met the people I have, both in real life and online. But one thing has always been lurking on the background, and that’s frequent self-doubt as to how good a friend I am to others.

That self-doubt, engendered by my failure to keep in touch with many of those I’ve befriended over the years, was a major cause of the several-month long inactivity on this blog starting in November of last year.

Part of the cause of that is my . . . condition . . . that results in a frequent, totally nonsensical and irrational desire for solitude, even with full knowledge that human interaction of some form is absolutely necessary for my psychological and physical well being.

Every year, I’m required to live alone, tending the house, garden, and cats, as well as my own affairs while family is away, often from a period of time ranging from two weeks to a full month, all on my own. I don’t at all mind the responsibility, so that’s not the issue.

But spending such long spans of time as the only human being at home causes a heightening of that innate, irrational drive for solitude, normalizes it, accustoms me to it, drawing me further from those I know, unless I actively work toward making that needed human contact more frequent.

There’s also my study and work periods spent poring over manuscripts, reading, lectures, work on notes, and the less-often-than-I’d-like practice sessions learning languages. These require solitude in order to focus, as I am a terrible multitasker.

I simply cannot engage in online conversation while at the same time trying to focus on details of a language, or the same while working on manuscripts. I’m 53 now, after all. And one’s ability to multitask declines significantly with age.

That forces me to single-task whenever I can to get anything done. That requires focus, often leading to solitude while working. If I try to do two involved tasks at once, I wind up succeeding at neither. I’m no longer in my twenties, though psychologically, I don’t feel 53.

So there’s that.

What to do about this?

One solution is to schedule my time in an organizer, and to develop more productive habits, like rising earlier while maintaining my sleep hygiene, and spending more time each day interacting online than I’m ordinarily inclined to by my condition. Isolation kills. It’ll also drive me nuts if I let it.

There is also something, more attainable with someone here to help out at home, of simply getting out more often and doing things I enjoy with others. But I’m most definitely not an extrovert, so dealing with others face-to-face can be exhausting, and that can carry over to online engagement as well, even with the seeming anonymity of the Internet.

I have doubts, frequent ones, that I have anything of real consequence or importance to say online, say, in response to tweets sent my way, or in the comment threads of blogs, even this one. It makes me feel as though I’m just not a very good friend to those I’ve come to know through social media.

It came to a head late last year on this blog. And part of the chain that led up to that involved the late Christopher Trommater, formerly known to the blogging and Twitter communities as Skeptic Cat. In February of 2014, he took his own life, and I’d only found out about it from his ex-fiancee the following month.

From then, until late 2016, that has haunted me, along with the nagging, totally irrational thought that maybe I could have kept in more frequent contact with him through email, that maybe I could have talked him out of his decision to end himself.

Maybe, the silent voice within says, I could have been a better friend than I was and he would still be here today. But that’s nonsense. I’ve learned that to give credence to such musings is nonconstructive. I can’t live my life based on what might have been, what I might have done, and yet I can’t shake the mild self-loathing stemming from the feeling that what it says is true.

But suicide doesn’t work like that. I know to a high degree of certainty that there’s nothing I could have done, other than torment myself sooner, and more deeply, than I did in fact. Chris had metaphorical demons to deal with I cannot possibly grasp as a merely online friend, that I’d be no help in enabling him to overcome.

So, happy birthday to me, as there’s a lot of work to do, and things to improve until the day I cease to be and cannot improve anything at all, save the nutrient content of the soil.

When will I reach my ultimate life’s goal, whatever that is? I’ll let you know as soon as I reach it . . . .

Aaand I don’t expect that to be anytime soon!

Tf. Tk. Tts.

Quid Novi? | The Time of the Kestalus

Namaskar, Oh Fine Hominins! Well, the worst of the weekend storm is past. So now that I’m back, I’m once again shifting gears, speeding up weekly posting on some blogs, reducing posting on others. But which some and which others?

First, I’m going to be posting every three to four days each week on this blog, once a week on the last week of the month (reading time for me!), about once a week on my blogger site the Collect Call of Troythulu, once monthly on the Checkerboards of the Gods, and less regularly on the Exohuman Journals, or the Prank Call of Troythulu, while taking spare hours working on updating the Unspeakable Blogs, and readying Memoirs of a Cat-Whisperer to go live with its first five posts. I’ve also created a new blog using my newly accessed, very first WordPress account, currently inactive and a wee bit inchoate until I decide what the heck to do with it. The account was originally used for my first blog, Troythulu’s Log, created on January 15, 2008, which lasted only slightly more than a year under several titles before it was fully replaced by this one in 2009.

I’d like to spend more time than I do blogging, but I’m currently involved with my first commissioned work on cover art for a book. I’m not at liberty to discuss details of the art prior to the author’s announcement of the book at least until everything’s ready. Otherwise I’ve been busy on non-blog writing, eZine submissions, and finishing work on redoing my solo Kindle ebooks: Dirge, Echoes of Forsaken Galaxies, and Fractal Shards. I’ll post a link and blurb for each here when they’re done and the updates are live on Amazon.

I’m considering getting a personal subscription on this blog once my finances are in order after buying the new laptop, which is well worth the expense in my view!

So stay cool, I’ll see you next week, and in the proper Kai’Siri . . . .

Tf. Tk. Tts.

Mr. Eccles Presents | Spokes in Saturn’s Rings & Cassini Huygens Landing

I’ve a couple of great vids by Phil Plait, the Bad Astronomer this morning! In the first, we see spokes, almost like those of a wheel, in the rings of Saturn. The mechanism by which they come about is a bit complex to get into here, but one explanation involves micron-sized ring particles electrically charged by the ionizing UV radiation from the distant Sun, focused by Saturn’s magnetosphere outward along the width of the rings, creating what basically amounts to enormous natural linear particle accelerators. How kewl is that? When Voyager I was here on its survey of the Saturn system, it was basically being blasted with radiation when crossing the plane of the rings along the path of the spokes! I love the fact that our species can build craft that durable, a craft now venturing in to the space between the stars!

Below, we have the recording of the entry of the Cassini Huygens lander entering and landing on the surface of Saturn’s moon Titan with the aid of a parachute. Here, we can see details of the surface, below the ever-present upper clouds of smog, worse than L.A. California in the 1970s, and the mountains and other land formations near the landing site. These are details that no one on Earth had ever seen before!

And now, you see them too!

Tf. Tk. Tts.

Quid Novi? | My Recent Blog Absence

 

Hey, O Fine Hominins! I know I’ve been absent from blogging for a while, and I want you to know that I’m not trying to deliberately ignore you or my sites.

I’ve been offline dealing with things going on at home that needed to be addressed, and over this past week or so we’ve been preparing for Hurricane Irma, which even right now looks like one mother-L. Ron Hubbard of a storm.

And I thought Isabel in 2003 was bad . . . utter, utter driveway pebbles!

I’ll back back to regular, or maybe disturbingly irregular posting on teh bloggies once everything blows over, in this case literally, and make time to schedule posts again.

So, thank you all for making this blog one of life’s little joys, and I’ll be back on once things are back to normal!

Tf. Tk. Tts.

 

Logico Fractatus | Emberon

Vanakkam!

This time, I’ve a new image, a bit dark looking, from one of my favorite presets. I’ve tweaked it a bit, enlarging the file, changing the color scheme and apparent texture, the lighting, and the results seem to work with this one, though that’s debatable. I may work with this set of parameters for future images, but in different regions and magnifications of the figure used . . . if I don’t decide to restructure the parameters themselves…

This one looks to me just vaguely . . . embryonic as well as having a kind of glassy specularity. I may fool around a bit further in future with this by adding true transparencies, even easier with Mandelbulb 3D than with the old Mandelbulber version I’ve used for previous images.

Tf. Tk. Tts.

All JPEG, PNG & GIF images in this post are original works by the author, created via a variety of apps and unless otherwise stated are copyright 2017 by Troy David Loy. I hereby permit the free, noncommercial use of these images, with proper attribution or a link back to the original source. Thank you!